The year I decided to date beyond my comfort zone was the year I signed up for online dating. Prior to Plenty of Fish, I did what most singles do- I filtered through my options. I dated anyone my girlfriends attempted to set me up with. I met every friend of their boyfriends, I dated the same guys nine times, I did male shopping in the work place and I realized that all my options were basically stale. It was time to create my online profile.
Polishing off at least one glass of wine, I made my way through the mandatory questions landing on “Hobbies and Interests.” Oh no… I stopped for a moment. Will I ever get a date?
Sure it’s a valid question. Sure it’s a conversation starter and gives someone insight into the type of person you are, but what if you don’t have a long list of fun or exciting hobbies? What if unlike many Vancouver residents you don’t own a bicycle and don’t do yoga on a paddle board every Sunday? What if you don’t like hockey, hiking and Crossfit? In a city where they nearly shut down a bridge for YOGA, is it possible to succeed in the world of dating without fitting the desired mold?
Another glass of wine was consumed.
Within the last five years, Vancouver has turned into a hub for kale enthusiasts, bike riders and green waste supporters. This leaves the cigarette smoking, car driving, anti-weight lifting female undatable to many Vancouver men.
Let me be clear: I do enjoy the outdoors to an extent; I do like green smoothies, sushi and many other Vancouverite favorites. Unfortunately for me, I just don’t love hockey or own a bike… this puts me in a predicament.
The fact that I am unable to stand up on a paddle board of course lessens my chances at a successful relationship. I can’t bike uphill, I don’t understand why anyone would do Tough Mudder and the idea of a bike rave actually worries me.
Although I might not fit the picture perfect idea of datable Vancouver women, I am still a good sport. I will go to a hockey game if they sell beer, I will ride a bike with a patient and nonjudgmental person and I have and will again attempt paddle boarding. My failures and awkward uncoordinated body movements might make a date uncomfortable but I will try most things- this doesn’t mean I will like what I am doing or understand why all of Vancouver needs to wear a Fitbit.
The question is: should I have to be a good sport just because the majority of men I date suggest I try things I wouldn’t ever want to do in my own spare time?
I mean I want to believe that somewhere out there, there is a man that is attracted to me and my interests but I have to admit it isn’t easy to find that in Vancouver.
How do you even write an appealing online dating profile with my interests?
Dog and animal obsessed. Enjoys anything topped with peanut butter, loves food- mainly the unhealthy options hence my obsession with chips, candy and desserts. Fan of 20/20 and Dateline. Prefers to stay in on weekends and sleep until 1:00pm. Runs occasionally but prefers limited physical activity. Drinks on most week days. Best friends are sister and mother. Writes about sex and relationships yet remains single with almost no sex life.
The fact of the matter is: the majority of men on dating sites and apps in the Vancouver area are seeking an ideal that some women don’t match. So do you attempt to fit the mold? Do you adjust your hobbies and interests in hopes of a relationship?
Take it from someone who has pretended to be something she’s not. Take it from a woman who has fallen face first paddle boarding, who has cried while riding a bike on a busy ride, who has hiked on days she would have preferred to sleep in. Take it from the girl who has watched hockey when she could have been writing, painting, or spending time with people that actually like her for her- don’t be something you’re not to attract the opposite sex. Don’t lie about your interests because every guy on Tinder is looking for a girl to be active with.
You see, while I was on these active dates, I could have been spending my time in the places I enjoy and I could have met someone in person with similar interests. While attempting to bike up a hill, I could have been having interesting conversations with people with my interests.
You might be asking…. Where in the world do you find those people? You might be saying that you just read several hundred words on how it’s impossible to meet people that don’t fit the Van norm. You be thinking “this chick really has no idea what she’s talking about.”
Let me leave you with this important piece of advice: what I wish I knew years ago when I signed up for online dating is that online dating isn’t the best way to meet people with your interests. Sure profiles list interests but guess who lied about theirs? I did. The best place to meet people that share you interests is by doing the things you enjoy doing. If you love art, go to the Vancouver Art Gallery. If you love music, go listen to live music. I can’t promise that you’ll meet someone but I can promise that you’ll at least enjoy what you’re doing.
Now go be yourself.
Atypical Vancouver female seeks male who likes movies, great food, family, conversations past Hockey, who perhaps doesn’t like mass amount of protein in liquid form or seeks a woman who owns a bike and has a love of fitness. Are you out there?