A recent ad posted in Vancouver’s very own Craigslist has captured headlines at different media sources in Canada due to its unique proposition. The craigslist user whom posted this ad was seeking bridesmaids for her upcoming wedding and has a list of requirements to boot.
– Must be willing to appear at all events (Between Aug 24-30)
– No one taller than one 5’5 or shorter than 5’0
– Must be sizes 0-6 (I buy the dresses)
– Must be a good liar and actor
– Must be willing to memorize info about me
– Preferably speaks Punjabi
– An agreeable personality, from a respectable family
– Must be anywhere from 27-33 years old
– Must be attractive but not too attractive
You will have a higher chance of being considered if you send a picture. Must be willing to do an interview.
Check out what this local Vancouverite responded.
“To the bride to be:
Please consider this to be my submission for the position of “bridesmaid” at your end-of-August matrimonial ceremonies, as posted on Craigslist July 2014. As a general advocate and cheerleader for love, I feel I have the necessary skills and charm to not only be a great bridesmaid, but perhaps the best bridesmaid there ever was.
I am a charasmatic, outgoing and friendly individual with great dinner party stories. I frequently get invited to parties based solely on the quality of these stories which include random bits of information ranging from health (how to use apple cider vinegar to neutralize a feline’s PH levels and reverse UTI’s) to pop culture (did you know Jamie Lee Curitis was a hermaphrodite?). I also have a blend of great failed date stories that will be used to make the other bridesmaids laugh, but will be exempt from any conversations I will partake in with your family. Speaking of family: they LOVE me. Families think I’m sassy and polite (so, so polite!). My name, which is Shadi, means marriage in Hindi; this will genuinely give me an advantage over your other bridesmaids because a) it’s good luck and b) it means I’m fairly ethnic and your family will automatically feel at ease and grab my hand while we discuss their beautiful daughter and her wonderful husband on their special day. I also have terrific knowledge of Bollywood films, which will impress your hard-to-please aunt who will probably be scowling in the corner until I start chatting her up about how Shahrukh Khan and Kajol are like a modern day Romeo & Juliet and should be together, forever.
Now, for your other qualifications: I come from a pretty respectable family (except for my dad who is a bit of a casanova), I’m 28 in two weeks, 5’5 and although I don’t speak Punjabi I do speak Farsi and some words cross over in our languages (zindagi!). I consider myself to be pretty agreeable too unless we venture over to topics like anti-abortion or the Harper government, BUT don’t worry, I’m really really good at diverting conversations elsewhere and avoiding all of that awkwardness in the first place. I consider myself to be pretty, but not conventionally pretty, so that rules out the “too attractive” part and this whole thing is really about you, not me, so rest assured I will not look like a hot tramp between August 24-30.
If you’ve ever watched “The Wedding Planner” – I promise to be like Jennifer Lopez in that movie but on steroids. I will baking soda the crap out of the wine stain on the train of your dress, I will find someone to make out with the “way too drunk groomsguy” if he starts being a nuisance and I will definitely hold your hair back if you get sick. So there you go, that is why you should pick me to be the BEST bridesmaid ever. I’ve already picked out my interview outfit so now it’s up to you to call me!”